After a recent chat about the coach and athlete relationship I decided
to write a blog about the difficulties of being a coach and to get a flip side
perspective. Laura (on twitter she is called @lauralittlest) who I'm 'coaching'
decided to write one from the athletes’ viewpoint. She suggested we do it
independently so it’s not a collaboration. You can read her blog here http://littlestruns.blogspot.co.uk/
I've never really considered myself to be a coach. I have no formal qualifications. No piece of paper that says I have undertaken a course of study or completed any training and therefore any credibility I may have is often not taken seriously, particularly by those who feel that having said letters chasing their name means everything somehow.
Whilst I have respect for anyone who has committed time and energy to gaining knowledge in this way, I also know that it is not the be all and end all of things.
I regard myself as someone who merely assists. If my assistance has a positive effect then I have achieved my aim. If it does not then I will accept this and try to change things or respectfully bow out and allow someone else to take up the mantle. After all, if you're helping someone to achieve their goals, then surely their best interests have to be paramount. Anything you want to achieve personally must be put to one side.
In my lifetime so far I have worked with 11 athletes across 4 sports. Some I have helped with the technical side of their sport, some with the strength and conditioning side and some with both. One thing I have helped them all with is the mental side of it. I have helped athletes at a very high level (international level) and some not so advanced. Now I'm not saying I'm the font of all knowledge, but then again the coach who believes they are is likely not a very good coach at all. If I had to pinpoint one quality of a coach which I believe is the most important one, it is this..... The desire to acquire greater knowledge. For me the best coaches are the ones who are prepared to listen and learn.
I've never really considered myself to be a coach. I have no formal qualifications. No piece of paper that says I have undertaken a course of study or completed any training and therefore any credibility I may have is often not taken seriously, particularly by those who feel that having said letters chasing their name means everything somehow.
Whilst I have respect for anyone who has committed time and energy to gaining knowledge in this way, I also know that it is not the be all and end all of things.
I regard myself as someone who merely assists. If my assistance has a positive effect then I have achieved my aim. If it does not then I will accept this and try to change things or respectfully bow out and allow someone else to take up the mantle. After all, if you're helping someone to achieve their goals, then surely their best interests have to be paramount. Anything you want to achieve personally must be put to one side.
In my lifetime so far I have worked with 11 athletes across 4 sports. Some I have helped with the technical side of their sport, some with the strength and conditioning side and some with both. One thing I have helped them all with is the mental side of it. I have helped athletes at a very high level (international level) and some not so advanced. Now I'm not saying I'm the font of all knowledge, but then again the coach who believes they are is likely not a very good coach at all. If I had to pinpoint one quality of a coach which I believe is the most important one, it is this..... The desire to acquire greater knowledge. For me the best coaches are the ones who are prepared to listen and learn.
“Good teachers are those who know how
little they know, bad teachers are those who think they know more than they
don’t know”
R Verdi
I have been an athlete myself, competing in a number of sports to a standard I'm proud to have achieved, but I know I was often difficult to coach. Why? Because I questioned everything. Why do you want me to do that? What is the value in it? How will that improve my performance? Why is that better than any other way of doing it? Etc etc...
Some athletes can be easy to work with, doing simply as they are asked to do, never questioning, trusting implicitly in their coaches’ judgement. I've helped out athletes like this, and whilst they are indeed very easy to work with, I can honestly say they aren't the dream you would think.
Some people will think I'm crazy when I say I'd much rather work with an athlete who challenges me, questions me; forces me to think outside the box. I think it's entirely possible for a coach to become stale, blindly following the same old routines, the same practices and philosophies they have always followed. Where is the learning in that? Where has the challenge gone? I WANT that challenge. I want to be pushed to find answers, new ways of approaching old problems.
I have been an athlete myself, competing in a number of sports to a standard I'm proud to have achieved, but I know I was often difficult to coach. Why? Because I questioned everything. Why do you want me to do that? What is the value in it? How will that improve my performance? Why is that better than any other way of doing it? Etc etc...
Some athletes can be easy to work with, doing simply as they are asked to do, never questioning, trusting implicitly in their coaches’ judgement. I've helped out athletes like this, and whilst they are indeed very easy to work with, I can honestly say they aren't the dream you would think.
Some people will think I'm crazy when I say I'd much rather work with an athlete who challenges me, questions me; forces me to think outside the box. I think it's entirely possible for a coach to become stale, blindly following the same old routines, the same practices and philosophies they have always followed. Where is the learning in that? Where has the challenge gone? I WANT that challenge. I want to be pushed to find answers, new ways of approaching old problems.
“Men learn while they teach”
Seneca
I said in the beginning of this post that I have no formal qualifications, what I do have is experience, a lot of experience. But despite this, I still need to speak to others for information, sometimes just to fire questions at and bounce ideas off. I power-lift now and I have a coach myself. Andy is an awesome coach too. His knowledge is immense, and his patience with me is saintly. It helps that he is a friend from way back in our athletics days. He is my coach for a number of reasons. Not because I have no idea what I'm doing. But primarily because I need that support mechanism. I need to know someone will write me a programme that pushes me more than one I would write myself, for myself; one that takes me outside of my comfort zone. I could write a programme to do this pretty easily of course but I wouldn't trust myself to make it demanding enough because I'm writing it for me. Also if I have a question or problem with my training, I need an outlet and a source of knowledge. As I said earlier, no one knows everything. For me I can think of no one better than Andy. It is also a huge factor that he is one of my truly best friends. This means I trust his judgement implicitly. Andy is a competitor, he has participated in a variety of sports and whatever he does he does with no less than 100% dedication. He is very much the kind of guy that will give it all or what is the point.
Recently I started working with Laura. I first met her almost a year ago. At that time, she had never even set foot in a weights room but now she has taken up power-lifting I can honestly say that of all the people I have worked with she is unique among them. To say she presents a challenge is a massive understatement. At times she can be emotional, anxious, demanding, requires a ton of support, encouragement and praise. Laura questions everything and I mean everything. She wants to know the reason behind schedules and technical points, it's a constant case of why? Outside of the gym she needs a lot of encouragement, not in the sense that she isn't committed, far from it, her level of commitment borders on fanaticism. It’s more to convince her that she really is capable of the things I know she is. After a month of working with her, I know she still doesn't believe it fully, but I'm working on that. I know she won't mind me saying this but at times she can be a fucking nightmare to work with. She demands so much of herself that if the slightest thing doesn't work she can pretty much lose the plot. She will kick off with me, blame me, hate me, but I know that she really doesn't mean any of it. I know that when this happens what she is letting me know is that she needs reassurance that, you know..... “It's not such a big deal”. Laura runs best on positivity. I openly admit that at times she winds me up almost to the point of snapping. But thankfully I'm pretty good at turning that around. We both know each other better than we like to admit sometimes but that's why it works.
This week has been the toughest. Early in the week Laura was struck down with food poisoning and was a wreck, in a great deal of pain, crying on the phone, not in a good place at all. But I managed to help a little I think. Tuesday was really much of the same, Wednesday she was feeling a little better and by Friday she wanted to be back in the gym despite feeling weak and exhausted from doing some basic chores in her apartment. She wanted to gym, she wanted to go climbing, and I didn't want her to because I knew she wasn't physically up to it, but at times Laura thinks she is invincible. She also hates being given orders with a passion. I tried being reasonable, tried to give the rational viewpoint, but in the end I had to put my foot down. I didn't like it one bit but it was my last resort. To say she wasn't happy is putting it mildly. But when she calmed down she admitted that it was the right thing to do. It would be so easy for me to say you know what? Fuck it! I'm done! But that would say more about me than it would about her. I've never quit anything. I've recognised when it’s time to back away from some things but thrown in the towel? No!
She has come a very long way from being the girl who too scared to set foot in a gym less than a year ago to one who will happily find the biggest ugliest guy in there and ask them for a spot.
My life would be a lot easier if I was helping someone less demanding, less in need of assurance, less questioning, but it would also be less interesting. The fact that we are close friends means we can both overstep the mark without it being a big problem. Yes we argue about things and there are times we annoy each other. Times when talking would be a bad idea and times when a conversation about anything other than training is needed. The fact is Laura challenges me. The majority of questions she asks me, I can answer, but from time to time she comes up with a belter. That’s when my work really starts. She knows I hate not knowing something and will always find out the answer. But I like the fact that I’m learning the whole time too. I don’t want to stagnate. From her perspective she has a need to know that whoever is working with her is not just asking things of her that they either haven’t done or know nothing about. I think it helps that I also lift heavy and she respects that, there is a trust there. Sometimes I want to just say to her “Laura, man the fuck up and get it done”. But she isn't a person that would work with. The reason being, that phrase is exactly what she is saying in her own head so there is no need for anyone external to put it into stereo. It's going to be an interesting journey with plenty of ups and downs. Laura needs to learn how to be coached as much as she needs to learn what she is being shown. I know she trusts me and I know the respect is there (grudgingly at times) but it’s there nonetheless.
For those of you who may think, yeah yeah but you're earning money from her for doing this so that's why you persevere. I can tell you that money has nothing to do with it. Laura pays me nothing and I wouldn't take a penny if she offered. The reason I do it is because it’s a symbiotic arrangement. She benefits from my knowledge and support, I benefit from the demands she places upon me. Added to that, is the fact that I love working with her, she reminds me of a younger me in many ways and her potential actually scares me a little.
There are plenty of people out there who are in it for the money, plenty who teach shit form and who you can see have no interest in those they are coaching or helping. By the same token there are many great coaches who are doing it right, for the right reasons and doing a fantastic job.
I said in the beginning of this post that I have no formal qualifications, what I do have is experience, a lot of experience. But despite this, I still need to speak to others for information, sometimes just to fire questions at and bounce ideas off. I power-lift now and I have a coach myself. Andy is an awesome coach too. His knowledge is immense, and his patience with me is saintly. It helps that he is a friend from way back in our athletics days. He is my coach for a number of reasons. Not because I have no idea what I'm doing. But primarily because I need that support mechanism. I need to know someone will write me a programme that pushes me more than one I would write myself, for myself; one that takes me outside of my comfort zone. I could write a programme to do this pretty easily of course but I wouldn't trust myself to make it demanding enough because I'm writing it for me. Also if I have a question or problem with my training, I need an outlet and a source of knowledge. As I said earlier, no one knows everything. For me I can think of no one better than Andy. It is also a huge factor that he is one of my truly best friends. This means I trust his judgement implicitly. Andy is a competitor, he has participated in a variety of sports and whatever he does he does with no less than 100% dedication. He is very much the kind of guy that will give it all or what is the point.
Recently I started working with Laura. I first met her almost a year ago. At that time, she had never even set foot in a weights room but now she has taken up power-lifting I can honestly say that of all the people I have worked with she is unique among them. To say she presents a challenge is a massive understatement. At times she can be emotional, anxious, demanding, requires a ton of support, encouragement and praise. Laura questions everything and I mean everything. She wants to know the reason behind schedules and technical points, it's a constant case of why? Outside of the gym she needs a lot of encouragement, not in the sense that she isn't committed, far from it, her level of commitment borders on fanaticism. It’s more to convince her that she really is capable of the things I know she is. After a month of working with her, I know she still doesn't believe it fully, but I'm working on that. I know she won't mind me saying this but at times she can be a fucking nightmare to work with. She demands so much of herself that if the slightest thing doesn't work she can pretty much lose the plot. She will kick off with me, blame me, hate me, but I know that she really doesn't mean any of it. I know that when this happens what she is letting me know is that she needs reassurance that, you know..... “It's not such a big deal”. Laura runs best on positivity. I openly admit that at times she winds me up almost to the point of snapping. But thankfully I'm pretty good at turning that around. We both know each other better than we like to admit sometimes but that's why it works.
This week has been the toughest. Early in the week Laura was struck down with food poisoning and was a wreck, in a great deal of pain, crying on the phone, not in a good place at all. But I managed to help a little I think. Tuesday was really much of the same, Wednesday she was feeling a little better and by Friday she wanted to be back in the gym despite feeling weak and exhausted from doing some basic chores in her apartment. She wanted to gym, she wanted to go climbing, and I didn't want her to because I knew she wasn't physically up to it, but at times Laura thinks she is invincible. She also hates being given orders with a passion. I tried being reasonable, tried to give the rational viewpoint, but in the end I had to put my foot down. I didn't like it one bit but it was my last resort. To say she wasn't happy is putting it mildly. But when she calmed down she admitted that it was the right thing to do. It would be so easy for me to say you know what? Fuck it! I'm done! But that would say more about me than it would about her. I've never quit anything. I've recognised when it’s time to back away from some things but thrown in the towel? No!
She has come a very long way from being the girl who too scared to set foot in a gym less than a year ago to one who will happily find the biggest ugliest guy in there and ask them for a spot.
My life would be a lot easier if I was helping someone less demanding, less in need of assurance, less questioning, but it would also be less interesting. The fact that we are close friends means we can both overstep the mark without it being a big problem. Yes we argue about things and there are times we annoy each other. Times when talking would be a bad idea and times when a conversation about anything other than training is needed. The fact is Laura challenges me. The majority of questions she asks me, I can answer, but from time to time she comes up with a belter. That’s when my work really starts. She knows I hate not knowing something and will always find out the answer. But I like the fact that I’m learning the whole time too. I don’t want to stagnate. From her perspective she has a need to know that whoever is working with her is not just asking things of her that they either haven’t done or know nothing about. I think it helps that I also lift heavy and she respects that, there is a trust there. Sometimes I want to just say to her “Laura, man the fuck up and get it done”. But she isn't a person that would work with. The reason being, that phrase is exactly what she is saying in her own head so there is no need for anyone external to put it into stereo. It's going to be an interesting journey with plenty of ups and downs. Laura needs to learn how to be coached as much as she needs to learn what she is being shown. I know she trusts me and I know the respect is there (grudgingly at times) but it’s there nonetheless.
For those of you who may think, yeah yeah but you're earning money from her for doing this so that's why you persevere. I can tell you that money has nothing to do with it. Laura pays me nothing and I wouldn't take a penny if she offered. The reason I do it is because it’s a symbiotic arrangement. She benefits from my knowledge and support, I benefit from the demands she places upon me. Added to that, is the fact that I love working with her, she reminds me of a younger me in many ways and her potential actually scares me a little.
There are plenty of people out there who are in it for the money, plenty who teach shit form and who you can see have no interest in those they are coaching or helping. By the same token there are many great coaches who are doing it right, for the right reasons and doing a fantastic job.
What really sets the great coach apart from the average ones is the
willingness to listen to those they coach and seize the opportunity to learn
that is presented by every athlete they work with.
Being a coach isn't easy, but that's fine with me because I'm not a coach. I'm just helping someone out.
Being a coach isn't easy, but that's fine with me because I'm not a coach. I'm just helping someone out.
